Most people think that their behavior is controlled by a rational mind, and that therefore behavior is within voluntary control through will power. This view promoted by religions and philosophers until the 19th century, received a setback in the 20th century. That was when Sigmund Freud pointed out that there are many activities of our minds that are not within our control and which influence our behavior a great deal. Just imagine the last time you took a bath. How many acts in that procedure did you perform with full consciousness? Usually not many. The example of the iceberg is a good one for the mind; a large part of our minds remains submerged and beyond consciousness - what Freud called the subconscious mind. Its influence on our behavior is great, as the unconscious part of the mind is large. Take the example of a parent who meets out harsh punishment to a child for a minor misdemeanor. The parent may be having an unconscious fear of loss of control of the child. This fear may be either due to his childhood experience or due to the experience of a brother who went out of control and ruined his life. We often notice that mothers overprotect their beautiful daughters. The mothers are guided either by their childhood experience when they received undue attention from males or even had a traumatic (painful) sexual experience. If they are asked why they are harsh to a child or why they are overprotecting a child, they cannot explain these unconscious fears. All you hear would be some common excuse usually a rational one.
Have you heard of the famous Freudian slip? We say something by mistake when we want to say something else. The thing said in mistake may well be true or expose something about you. Next time you catch yourself with a slip of the tongue, think about it. So most of our actions are not all that rational. There are many unconscious motives to our behavior. One such unconscious motive is to defend against injury to our self-esteem. We defend our self-esteem in many ways. These are called defense mechanisms. Take the example of an office worker who is taken to task for poor work by his boss in the office. He feels bad but does not say anything to his boss. That evening he beats up his wife over a minor conflict. He has transferred his aggression from boss to wife. Has somebody who accused you of harboring ill feelings towards him surprised you? You never felt that way towards him, but it was probably he who had ill feelings towards you. But since he cannot accept that fact, he unconsciously projects it onto you. People often project their own hostility towards rulers and accuse them of planning to cause harm to people. People project their own hostility towards neighbors, and claim the neighbors are indulging in “charms” against them. There are many such mechanisms of defense against injury to self-esteem. Some are harmless but in some cases we begin to believe ourselves.
Mood and behavior
Our moods refer to the state of our emotions. When we are depressed, our actions are guided by depression. We may lose confidence in our ability to work, have fears of making mistakes, and keep away from the company of friends, but perceive them as rejecting us. In the same way, when anxious, it shows in our behavior as in the stuttering and sweating public speaker who is a first timer. We often learn to avoid people who, and situations that, make us anxious. This in tum increases the problem of anxiety. Another state of mind recognized by psychologists is "learned helplessness". Those who fail repeatedly in life learn and adopt failure as a way of life. They soon give up trying. This is seen at a society level in many third world countries. The poor adopt fatalism as a determinant of their lives. This creates major obstacles to progress in their lives and in society, as a large segment of the population remains socially and economically crippled and resigned to their fate. At an individual level, it has been demonstrated that those patients who give up fighting against an illness, such as cancer, tend to die earlier than those who fight the illness do. Tied up with “learned helplessness“ is the influence of belief. We know now, that merely the belief that one can do well helps a person perform better and achieve. It can be said that believing in one's self is the first and essential step towards success.
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